Rare's New TV Show
'Summary' Rare wants to make a new TV show to earn tons of money, and hires a few people to help her, but she becomes very bossy to the others, and they've decided enough is enough. 'Characters' *Rare (Antagonist) *Red *Blue *Pink *Lord Tourettes *Broseph *Stacy *Trollz0r *Raccoon 'Transcript' (Starts off with Rare sitting on her sofa, seeing that she doesn't have a lot of money left.) Rare: Why am I losing money? I wish the studios would give me more movie offers. Mail Man: (from outside) Mail Delivery! Rare: (Opens the door to retrieve her mail) What do we got today? Voice: (reading Rare's note in her head) Dear Rare, we were giving you a huge offer of directing and producing your very own adult comedy show for our channel, if you are able to make a great pilot episode, you'll receive a huge paying of $321,132,248, be sure to send this by next Friday, from HBO (Rare drops the letter in huge amazement) Rare: (Excited) Oh... my... GOD!! This is amazing!! I can be great at acting, singing, and now comedy! Voice: Oh and you can't be the only one in the show, you have to get a group of other people as well. (Rare notices the last sentence, then gets pissed off.) Rare: (Sighs) Now I need to get myself an assemble, this is gonna be difficult. (Later it shows Rare filled with cameras in a lounge room TV setting, there she is standing in front of Red, Blue, Pink, Stacy, Lord Tourettes, Broseph, Raccoon, and Trollz0r.) Rare: So I need you people to be a part of my new adult comedy show on pay cable TV. Red: (yawns) And what dis shit about anyway? Rare: It's a sketch comedy show hosted by me! Blue: (yawns) And what are we suppose to do? Rare: You perform these actions and jokes based off this script. (Hands each of them a script) Red: (quickly reads the script) BOOOOOORING! Stacy: Umm, nothing says something to do with Beers. Rare: Of course not, but this is my script and it will be funny, follow this and you'll be payed. Red: Uuuugh! Fine! 2 DAYS LATER (Everyone begins rehearsals for the show, as the first sketch opens with Pink and Stacy giggling standing in front of a wallpaper looking like Rare's mansion) Pink: Oh wow Stacy! Isn't Rare just a great person? Look at her great Mansion! (Stacy continues standing still, and then burps loudly, then drinks a bottle of beer.) Rare: (Yells) CUT! (Walks in front of Stacy) You can't drink alcohol on the set! (Swipes Stacy's beer out of her hand) Stacy: 'Ey! Gimme back my booze! (swipes back her beer and drinks) Red: HEY! Gimme some of dat shit! (Red tackes Stacy, as they both knock Rare over) Rare: (Pushes them out of her way) Enough! You two need to stop fucking around! We have a show to film! (Stacy collapses on the floor, then snores loudly.) Pink: (groans) Stacy! Rare: Someone wake her up! We still have the scene where Pink and Stacy keep messing up my orders at a restaurant! (Later cuts to them in a fake restaurant being filmed.) Rare: (Looking at a menu) Now I see what I want. (To Pink and Stacy) Oh waitresses! (Pink and Stacy run up to her.) Pink: Y-Yes madam? Rare: I will have a salad with grilled chicken, tomato, raunch dressing, cucumbers on the side, shredded cheese on the salad, with a glass of red wine, pronto! (Stacy rushes in and brings Rare her order.) Rare: Okay. (Looks at her salad) Where's my tomatoes? Pink: Uhh, Stacy! Stacy: (burps) That wasn't on the script. (shows her the script) Pink: THAT'S THE WRONG SCRIPT! Rare: (Faceplams) CUT!! You can't say that, also you can't show me the script!! Stacy: Yes I can, YOU wrote it, so you are dumber than me. Pink: Don't you mean SMARTER?! Rare: Just redo the scene with what I wrote or your FIRED!! Stacy: I'm on fire?! (runs around screaming) Rare: (Angry) You will be if you don't read the FUCKING SCRIPT!! (Stacy screams louder, then faints on the floor.) Pink: Rare, calm down. Rare: You wanna be fired too Pink!? Pink: (sighs and rubs her arm) No... Rare: Good! Now let's continue, we still have the scene with Trollz0r fixing my computer! (Shows Trollz0r trying to fix Rare's computer.) Rare: So... I got this virus on my computer, and I heard you were an expert in this shit. (Holds a remote) Trollz0r: Okeeehhh, should be dun soon. (Rare pushes a button on her remote when Trollz0r holds a red wire, which shocks him) Trollz0r: (LOL Face) KILLER MACHINE!!! (pulls out a chainsaw and destroys the computer) Rare: Hey! What happened? Trollz0r: The computer, ELECTROCUTED MEH!! Rare: CUT!! I just realized, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSE TO USE THE CHAINSAW YET!!! Trollz0r: (Okay face) Sorry miss. Rare: Well now we have to redo this time! (The next sketch shows Red, Blue, LT, and Raccoon putting up decorations for a party, as Rare shows up) Rare: How is my party preparers coming along? Red: (notices beer) Beee- Blue: (whispers) Stick to the script! Uhh, it's going great! Rare: Great! (To LT) and watch out for that bucket in front of you. (LT ignores as he steps on a bucket of paint causing him to trip as he falls in Blue paint on the ground, Red notices the screw up, then drinks the beer.) Raccoon: Hooh! FIYARUUUU! (LT then spills the paint on electric plugs, as he is electrocuted.) Lord Tourettes: FUCK!!! (LT makes the whole room explode, Rare looks in horror, and shakes in extreme anger.) Rare: (Angry) YOU ARE ALL RUINING MY SHOW!!! Blue: (coughs) Augh, the paaaiin. Red: My booze. (shows him in scattered glass) Lord Tourettes: (cries) My poor BALLS! Raccoon: Ooohhh, what a fa''rr''. Rare: Okay everyone TAKE FIVE!! And after this break, WE WILL GET THIS RIGHT!!! Raccoon: (angry) We a''rr'' just got bad''r''y injured, and YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO CARE ABOUT IT!?! Rare: Why? It's your own damn fault! Raccoon: It, is, ca''rr''ed, AN, ACCIDEEEEEEEEEEEEENT!!! Rare: Whatever, just get all your shit off and we'll continue this in five minutes. (Shows the others behind the stage.) Red: Rare's being a bitch! Blue: Tell me about it, she's been working us all day and night. Lord Tourettes: I broke my BALLS! Stacy: I didn't get any boobs! Pink: Rare can't get us to do this if we can't even get over what we love! Red: (thinks) Alright dudes, here's what we're gonna do. (They all huddle up and whisper quietly.) (Rare returns on the stage) Rare: Okay, let's continue onto the next scene! (Red suddenly hits Rare off the stage.) Red: Fuck that shit! Let's roll this! (They roll the camera.) Red: (to the audience) Hello Dicks and Chicks out there! And welcome to, DICK BITS!!! Rare: (Angry) What the hell are you doing!? Red: We've got lots of awesome sketches lined up for all you bitches!! First up, is: A Normal Day at the Restaurant! (Shows Blue and Pink in a fake restaurant.) Stacy: Yo! What shit can I do for you two? Blue: Why, I'll have the regular sphagetti. Pink: Me too. Stacy: And would you like some BEER with that too? Blue and Pink: Sure. (Shows Raccoon making the food, but flings the knife and Pink pretends it hit her head.) Pink: (fake) Oh no! My head! Stacy: Never fear! Beer is cold, juicy, and makes you go GAGA! (pours it on her head) Pink: Yeah! I feel grrrrrreat! (Red stops the rolling.) Red: Sick! People will LOVE this! Rare: That wasn't part of my script!! Red: That's cuz we got our OWN script now bitch! ROLL THE NEXT SCENE! (Shows Trollz0r trying to fix the TV) Trollz0r: This should do the trick! (He plugs a giant medicine kit into the TV, it blows up in his face, as the TV turns on.) Trollz0r: (Aww Yea Face) It woooooooooorks! (The others laugh at the performance, while Rare gets angry and jealous.) Rare: NO! NO! NOOOO!!! (Later, the next day, after the episode's premiere on HBO, the group are reading the Newspaper.) Red: Holy shit! They loved it! Blue: Sick! We're in for next week's episode! (Rare walks in with a bag of huge money, but is still very angry.) Rare: (Angry) Well, my show, what I thought it was, became successful! And I get the money! Red: You should be happy bitch! You still got the money! Rare: Even though it is MY SHOW!!! Red: Oh whatever, you may have gotten 300 million dollars, but we all got DOUBLE! (shows each of them with 900 million dollars. Rare stares shocked, as her face turns red.) Rare: (Angry) Those motherfu-! END 'Poll' What do you think about Rare's New TV Show? Terrible, I hated it. (1/5) It was okay, I guess. (2/5) Good, but not great. (3/5) Now this is cool. (4/5) THIS IS AN AWESOME EPISODE! (5/5) Category:Episodes